Oh Gracie my Gracie

I got Gracie in October 2003. It was never my intention to have a dog, as I had always been a cat kind of gal, but she needed a home. You see, she belonged to an ex of mine, who just so happened to commit suicide the month before. The Sheltie rescue folks said that Gracie was too much of a liability, because she was a fear biter. I think they just put her in the wrong foster home and didn't get a chance to know her as a dog but that's another story.

Anyhow, she came to me, and immediately she battled through all manner of stomach distress. It was never my intention to have a child but there I was, seemingly taking care of one. "Lordy lord, what the hell have I gotten myself into?" I kept asking myself. But I loved Gracie from the first day I laid eyes on her. When she needed a home, I gave her one. Hell, I *bought* her one! Having been an apartment dweller for years, I ended up buying a condo near a park! I always said I would have that condo until Gracie died. I put it up for sale a month ago, only because my life circumstances have changed and I needed to do so. But I somehow knew she would not make it to see the new house.

Gracie's been winding down for several weeks now. She became very fussy about her food and sometimes didn't want to eat. Sometimes she would go into stomach distress. Her eyesight deteriorated dramatically. I suspected kidney failure, someone else said liver failure. She became very ill over the weekend, so ill in fact that I had to get her hydrated on Sunday, and shots to keep the stomach stuff at bay. It worked for a little while, keeping her comfortable for half a day or so, but she went right back to more stomach distress and she dehydrated again. It was time, I knew it was time, I just had the feeling that she was not going to recover from this.

The vet who treated my dog on Sunday told my partner that Gracie was a seriously ill little dog, so I felt very much at peace with my decision. At 4:15 on Monday afternoon, we sent Gracie to chase rabbits and squirrels. Lynn and I were with her the whole way, and held her and petted her as she drifted off. I cried, but kept reminding myself of a promise I made to myself and to Gracie. I always said that I would not let her suffer. She had been abused in the early part of her life, clearly, by someone who had her before my ex did. And while I loved my ex, I'm not sure that Gracie had the best life with her either. My goal was to give her a home, and lots of love, and lots of treats! She got it all, my friends, oh yes she did! And I'm glad that I was the one who was able to give it to her.

Rest peacefully, my beautiful little girl, rest peacefully.

Gracie (1995-2008)